bakerisms

10:33pm: if i'm back then the sadness is too
i'm crying. too much wine and music i know will prompt tears. all i can think of is how much i love him. how much i will miss him. how i wish he was here. how i fear i will fail without him. will he come back with love or will he back with steel. i feel awash with blue. molten yet cold. the warmth is gone. the familiar mocks me and all around is scorn. i hear noise outside and know i must join. but i do not care to. i do not wish to. how will i last these three months. and then what will come. will i bear that? i want to be left alone.

11:47pm: New day, New beginning
ok, now I'm back on track a bit and am not going to let myself wallow. i am going to play uplifting music and avoid watching mindless depressing tv. i made the mistake of breakfasting with rubbish popculture tv this morning and found myself sinking in to the pit again - it's all so inane and image-obsessed. if only i weren't so into music, film, hustle&bustle & internet then I would seriously consider becoming a hermit with no electricity in the wild somewhere!

I really should go exploring. I only just moved to London and am suffering from that classic case of option overload!

I want to get a piano.

9:40pm: strange thursday
today feels strange. i feel like my life-force is slowly ebbing away and nobody seems real. i am listening to a world of echo and it feels like home.

http://www.jahsonic.com/ArthurRussell.html

10:52am: First post
hello lovely people, i have felt compelled to join livejournal purely so i can post on the psychedelia livejournal after discovering a wonderful album - L'incendie by Brigitte Fontaine avec Areski. It is a fantastic find and full props must go to bikerbar!

right, now i am going to explore livejournal further and try and upload a picture...

1:01pm: New day, New beginning
ok, now I'm back on track a bit and am not going to let myself wallow. i am going to play uplifting music and avoid watching mindless depressing tv. i made the mistake of breakfasting with rubbish popculture tv this morning and found myself sinking in to the pit again - it's all so inane and image-obsessed. if only i weren't so into music, film, hustle&bustle & internet then I would seriously consider becoming a hermit with no electricity in the wild somewhere!

I really should go exploring. I only just moved to London and am suffering from that classic case of option overload!

I want to get a piano.